


Truth, and Other Secrets

by aerynthesebacean, shkespeare



Series: of roses and mist [2]
Category: LOONA (Korea Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, F/F, Family Bonding, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Han and Jin are each other's beards and I think that's romantic, It's really sweet and I love writing this entire 5 person friendship/relationship, Lesbian Sex, Lipsoul Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-01 21:54:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20910530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerynthesebacean/pseuds/aerynthesebacean, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shkespeare/pseuds/shkespeare
Summary: A husband. A son. Yet Jungeun can't stop thinking about her queen, nor stop her heart from fluttering every time she lays eyes on her. Only in her dreams can she be with her, where she can pretend it's real, where she can pretend she's content with being this close, and yet too far.





	1. Love Letter

**Author's Note:**

> This is a four part fic, and while the entire thing is rated EXPLICIT only the third and fourth parts are, for anyone's reference or warning. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

Jungeun had been working for the Queen for some time now, and had become accustomed to the routines inside the castle. Now, it was time for one that she secretly held as a favourite, helping to bathe the queen. She always maintained a distance, in order to prevent herself from falling any more in love with her than she already had, and feeling any more guilty that she was harbouring such a secret from her queen, one that made her feel as if she was taking advantage every time she helped her wash. She averted her eyes, preserving her queen's modesty, but she was just so _beautiful_. Everyone could see how beautiful Queen  Jinsoul was, and the way her husband's eyes shone whenever he looked at her, hoping their son would look just like her.  Jeonghan was a good king, a kind ruler, a good husband, but it pained her to remember his existence, to know that she would never be anything more to her queen than her personal maid. A confidant at best. 

But the young maid was yet to find out the true nature of her king and queen's relationship. They loved each other, yes, but they were not in love. When they were first courting, Jeonghan had confided in her, told her that he adored her, but that he could never love her. In fact, he was in love with one of his own guards, Sir  Seokmin . It came as a relief to her, because she could not love a man either. Their wedding night was something to behold, the king's lover joining them, to help them consummate, and allowing them both to keep their tryst alive, once banished by  Jeonghan's father. A secret to most, but not to  Jinsoul , never to  Jinsoul . 

To Jungeun, the birth of their son was evidence enough that they were in love, that they shared a bed as any married couple should. Yet, she could do nothing to prevent the blush that crept up her cheeks as her queen undressed before her, and climbed into the bath. Jinsoul found her new body regretful, birth having altered so many things about her, things that she didn't like. Her chest heavier, pale marks around her stomach, still swollen from carrying life. 

In front of  Jeonghan , she felt no shame, she didn't desire him, nor want him to desire her. But in front of Jungeun... she felt embarrassed, she wanted to feel beautiful, but couldn't. She couldn't see that  Jungeun still thought she was beautiful regardless. Thinking about her queen makes a blush crawl up her cheeks, which  Jinsoul sees, and notices it matches the rouge of her lips, leaving them both suddenly feeling embarrassed.  Jungeun stays there for a moment, frozen in place as the moment passes between them. She eventually manages to will her body to move, to start combing through  Jinsoul's golden hair. Oils and soaps nearby, to help the queen bathe and take care of her skin. The oil is sweet, just like the cakes the queen so loves. Soon,  Jungeun's duties are complete,

"All done, my lady. Do you wish me to take my leave? I can return later." But the queen interjects, exclaiming,

"No! I- I mean... can you stay?"

"I can, my lady, of course."  Jungeun bows slightly, before setting down on the stool she had been sat on. "Is the water to your liking?"

"Perfect,  Jungeun . I wish you could feel it too, it's so relaxing, I feel like I could stay here forever. All that's missing is some cake and my husband's favourite spiced wine and I'm all set." She says with a sigh.

"I'm glad, Your Grace,"  Jungeun says softly, just watching her queen relax.

"I could even nap in here, but Madam Park would heavily disapprove of her queen lazing about. Gods, I remember her face when I told her I wanted to nurse my son instead of letting her or one of the other wet nurses. I'm surprised she didn't collapse on the spot. It was satisfying, in truth. I want to nurse my son and am  _ capable _ of nursing my son, and she hates that." She grimaces, before imitating the older maid, "'Your chest, Your Grace, your husband will not be pleased when he sees you naked anymore.'"  Jinsoul frowns, "Letting someone else do something I'm perfectly capable of? Let her tell me what my husband wants from me? If I were meaner I could have her punished for her comments."

"But your husband... the king. He treats you well?"  Jungeun asks.  Jinsoul smiles at her question, playing with the water, moving the petals floating on its surface,

"He does. He's kind and he  cares for his people, cares for me too. Always makes sure I'm alright, and that our son is alright. I wish you could have seen him when he was born, he looked like a madman being handed a pile of treasures, before promptly sobbing."

"He is a good man, Your Grace,"  Jungeun replies, listening to how in love with him the queen sounds. It is only expected as his queen, but it doesn't stop it from stinging a little.

"What about you  Jungeun ? Any man in town caught your attention?"  Jinsoul asks, looking at her with a twinkle in her eye.  Jungeun stutters over her words,

"I- well... I don't think I have time for... _that_. But there's someone in the castle that... I don't know, it's silly."

"In the castle? Who, if I may ask? One of the guards? There are some very handsome ones. I hope it's not  Jeonghan's advisor, he smells like old cheese."

"It's..."  Jungeun feels her heart racing, "It may... offend Your Grace." She admits.

"Offend me?"  Jinsoul turns to look at her, water level barely covering her chest, swollen from nursing. "Is it my husband, Lady  Jungeun ? Or maybe a close royal guard? Sir  Seokmin is also handsome." But  Jungeun looks at her hands,

"N- no it's... I'm not-" She sighs. "Men are of... little interest to me."  Jinsoul's eyes widen a little,

"Oh," She says before smiling, "that's alright. You can relax, Lady Jungeun. You don't have to tell me if you are not comfortable doing so, but it is very much alright with me. We cannot choose who we love."

"She is... above my station anyway, it would be wrong of me to even  _ presume _ , Your Grace."

"You're lovely,  Jungeun , don't ever think otherwise. I'm sure it will all work  out, the gods will be kind to you." She gives her maid a genuine smile, a reassuring thing too, and Jungeun almost believes it.  Jinsoul is still playing with the water when  Jungeun stands,

"Your fingers must be starting to wrinkle, Your Grace, I think it's time to get out."

"I think so too," and  Jungeun expects her to cover herself, or ask  Jungeun to turn away as she steps out of the bath, in the light of Jungeun's preferences, but she doesn't. She stands up, reaching to steady herself with  Jungeun's arm, thanking her quietly as she steps out of the tub.  Jungeun gives her a towel, helping to wrap it around the queen's wet body,  Jinsoul unbothered by it all, and  Jungeun can feel the relief wash over her. 

Jinsoul's hair now lies smoothly against her back, and  Jungeun takes another towel to put over her shoulders, to help her dry off and to keep her warm, the water already cooling on her skin, the stone tiles cold beneath her feet despite the fires crackling in every room. 

"You have a meeting today, Your Grace, but only in the evening. Do you wish to do something specific today?"  Jungeun asks, patting her skin dry.

"Do you have any other duties today,  Jungeun ?"

"I am at your disposal, Your Grace."

"Then perhaps we could spend the afternoon together, with the little prince? I have things to sew for him, his pillowcases aren't finished just yet. I would love for you to keep me company."  Jinsoul finishes, looking at her maid, who bows politely,

"It would be my pleasure, Your Grace."

"We can have tea together, too."  Jinsoul adds, and  Jungeun can't help but smile. 

"I would love to." She bows again, "Perhaps... you could teach me how to sew like you do. I've never been the most skilled with a needle and thread."

"I would like nothing more,"  Jinsoul says returning the smile.


	2. Singing in the Rain

They started stealing glances at each other, small things, imperceptible, almost.  Jungeun spending more time with the queen and her son, playing with him sewing with the queen while he sleeps, they enjoyed time spent in each other’s company. The queen held her secret close to her chest, the feeling of lightness that would always grow whenever she spent time around her maid. Despite her previous confession,  Jinsoul had yet to admit that she felt the same way about men. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her, it was just a secret that felt bigger than her, her reputation,  Jeonghan’s reputation, and the future of their son and kingdom seemed to rest on this knowledge. Knowledge she wasn’t quite ready to share yet. But she couldn’t deny the pull in her chest whenever her silver haired maid stepped into the room.

Jungeun learnt half the secret on a particular evening, a storm overhead, so loud and threatening it left both the queen and her son in tears.  Jinsoul had always hated storms, and little  Daejung won’t stop crying, despite how much she tries to console him.  Jeonghan brought them both over to his chambers, the larger fireplace warming the room, covering some of the noise of the storm, the rain hammering against the windows, thunder cracking maliciously when they think it has passed.  Jungeun can see how distressed  Jinsoul is, getting nowhere with  Daejung , making her feel worse, so she asks if she can try instead. She passes the  squriming bundle of blankets over to  Jungeun , wiping her own tears away, listening to her talk to her son,

“It’s okay little prince, you’re okay, it’s just a storm, it can’t hurt you.” Her voice is so soothing, despite all the discordance around her.  Jeonghan can now comfort  Jinsoul , hold her close and do his best to shield her from the storm, always in sight of her son.

Sir  Seokmin is stood by the door, still on duty, yet looking at them sympathetically. He knows the queen hates storms, and the terrified cries of her son are heartbreaking. He wants to help, he clears his throat, before talking over the rain,

“Your Grace... perhaps I could try and sing to him?” Jungeun smiles,

“You can sing?” He nods, eyes remaining on his queen, watching her nod. He knows she’s desperate.  Jeonghan looks at  Seokmin , 

“He’s all yours. Lady  Jungeun ... if you wouldn’t mind giving him the little prince...” She nods,  Seokmin approaching and taking hold of the crying prince.  Jeonghan still holding his wife, stroking her hair, but he looks on at the guard with adoration on his face.  Jungeun gasps quietly when she hears him sing, his voice so clear and beautiful. It’s a voice  Jeonghan has heard many times over; in bed, he asks  Seokmin to sing to him when he can’t sleep, the stresses of the day traversing his mind relentlessly and he just needs to be cared for. He sings the lullabies that his own mother used to sing to him. It’s what he sings now to the little prince, who is still crying his little lungs out. 

Jinsoul tells Han how much she hates when he cries like this, how helpless she feels. Han just helps to calm her, stroking her hair, her back, trying to ground her, pressing kisses to her forehead too. He hates seeing his son like this, it’s hard, but for his son, his wife, he has to be strong, to be there for them. 

Eventually,  Seokmin’s singing starts to calm  Daejung down,  Jinsoul too, listening to the words. A beautiful lullaby about a star and a little boy.  Jeonghan watches his love, a smile tugging at his lips, still stroking  Jinsoul’s hair. Meanwhile  Jungeun is almost afraid to move, to disturb the peaceful moment, even though the rain still rattles the windows. But  Daejung is quiet, looking up at  Seokmin with big eyes.  Seokmin is smiling at the bundle of blankets in his arms, his voice soft, sweet, rocking him ever so slightly too. He manages to grab one of  Seokmin’s fingers with one of his hands, sucking the thumb of the other while he blinks sleepily at the singing guard.  Seokmin loves the little prince, almost as if he were his own son. He’s  Jeonghan’s – his lover’s son – and that is enough for him.

His singing helped  Jinsoul to calm down too, though she still squeezes  Jeonghan’s hand whenever the thunder cracks, a small gasp passing her lips.

“It’s okay  Jin , you’re safe here,  Daejung is safe here,”  Jeonghan tells her quietly.

“I just... Gods, it’s so silly of me,” She sniffles.

“No, not silly, never silly. You don’t like thunderstorms, just like I don’t like the mist that settles around the palace.”

“It doesn’t make you c- cry.”

“It used to,” He admits. They’re all in their nightclothes, except  Seokmin , the night dark and cold and ominous. But they have refuge in  Jeonghan’s chambers, in the warmth and safety of his room. “Even in my teen years, I was afraid. I would bite the insides of my cheeks so hard that they bled when my father made me ride in the early mornings. The horses didn’t like it either, I was terrified, but of course, my father didn’t care. Legends say that the heaving morning mists are the last breaths of the dead, haunting the land of the living. Others say that it’s when our world and another meet, mist coiling in the air like fingers, I was convinced I could see... things that others couldn’t. I hated it.  So I would ride fast, to blame the tears streaming down my cheeks on the bitter wind.”

“That’s  awful Han, that he made you.”  Jinsoul says, her voice sad. 

“I cried, every single time.  So it’s not silly. If it was, well... then we’d both be silly, and we can’t  _ both  _ be silly, though the world would be a lot less scary if we were.” His words get a giggle from  Jinsoul as she wipes her tears,

“Maybe being silly isn’t so bad.”

“Then there’s no need to worry, it’s okay to cry and be scared of things. Look, little  Daejung has calmed down too, both my lights are calm.”

Daejung is still holding onto one of  Seokmin’s fingers, so focused as  Seokmin sings to him. He’s getting sleepy, and  Seokmin carefully sits down next to  Jungeun , careful not to disturb the little prince, rocking him ever so gently.  Jungeun reaches to touch his little forehead, and  Jeonghan can’t help but smile at the scene in front of him, before taking a knowing glance at his wife.  Daejung eventually starts to fall asleep, eyes closing, grip on  Seokmin’s finger loosening.

“See? All calm now,”  Seokmin says, looking at the others, and suddenly feels embarrassed, a scarlet flush appearing on his cheeks. 

“You have the voice of an angel, Sir  Seokmin ,”  Jungeun tells him.

“I... You flatter me, my lady,” He dips his head as he speaks, the warmth spreading from his face to his body, creeping slowly.

“She’s right Min- Sir  Seokmin .” Han says, quickly correcting himself. “You have a voice blessed by the  Gods, you always have. I remember some time ago some young court ladies vying for your affections after hearing you sing at a ball.”

“I remember,” He says, before trying to change the subject. “I... still have my duty to attend to, Your Grace.”

“Ah yes, because we’re definitely in the midst of perfect conditions for an attack,”  Jinsoul says, “Sit a while, Sir Seokmin. Drink some tea. Thank you for... for calming my son down, and me also.” 

“It was the least I could do Your Grace. The little prince needs to rest in such awful weather, and you don’t need that worry. He’s a good baby,” He looks down at the little bundle in his arms, now fast asleep.

“He is, isn’t he?” She remarks softly, and  Seokmin gives her  Daejung to hold,  Jeonghan pressing a kiss to his son’s forehead as he does, and soon  Jinsoul is relaxed again despite the storm, her baby sleeping peacefully in her arms. She loves her son, adores him, and she’s never happier than when he is, when he’s asleep, safe, calm. It means  Jeonghan can relax more too, reaching for his cup of tea. They all have tea now,  Jinsoul leaving hers for the moment, content just watching her son sleep, his soft breaths consistent, making her smile without realising.

The thunder is still cracking, windows incessantly being railed against by the rain, but they’re safe, fire burning bright, warming them through.  Jungeun also relaxes in her seat, looking at her lovely queen and the babe in her arms. It’s a small unit, almost a family, the five of them. The closest guard to the royal family, the closest maid, the queen, the king, and the little sleeping prince.

Seokmin looks at  Jeonghan so longingly, he can’t disguise it here, not in his quarters, not in the room where they lay together so often.  Jinsoul sees him, the way he’s looking at his lover, and murmurs, “Han, it’s okay. I trust her,” and he understands.

“Thank you,” He says, brushing his lips against her temple before standing up.  Jinsoul can see the confusion on  Jungeun’s face, which only intensifies when she sees  Jeonghan walk over to  Seokmin and take his hand.  Seokmin almost pulls away, panicking, looking at  Jungeun , but  Jeonghan touches his face with his free hand. “It’s okay Minnie.”  Seokmin relaxes again, and  Jeonghan kisses him gently on the lips.

Jungeun is frozen in place, the king is kissing his guard, calling him ‘Minnie’. She never thought... she’d heard rumours, but always ruled them as fruits of jealousy from the other maids in the palace. She looks at Jinsoul, who just gives her an affirming nod, before gesturing for her to sit next to her.

“Come here,”  Jinsoul says to  Jungeun . “Let them stay together for a bit. Gods know they need it.”  So she sits next to her queen, and by the time she turns back,  Jeonghan is sat in  Seokmin’s lap, one arm around his neck.  Seokmin has his face on  Jeonghan’s neck, whispering sweet things, kissing the skin there, strong arms around their king, who just smiles at Jungeun. She looks at their son, and Jinsoul confesses,

“It was not just the king and I on our wedding night. He was made with love, nothing but love. Sir  Seokmin was there too, for Han.” She rocks  Daejung lightly, as if what she was saying was completely commonplace. 

“But Your Majesty, I’ve heard you....” 

“Tell my wife I love her? Well, it’s no lie.”

“I love him too, it is simply... of a different kind.”

“Oh, I... I understand. I won’t say a word, Your Majesty, about any of this.” 

“Thank you  Jungeun , it’s what works for us, and what makes us happy.”  Jeonghan says, she bows her head a little, and  Jinsoul nudges her with her arm gently. 

“Do you want to hold him? He’s sleeping so peacefully.”

“I’d like that,” She replies, so  Jinsoul passes her son to her, placing her hand behind  Jungeun’s back, watching him. He’s sleeping so well, comfortable and warm, wrapped in soft blankets. “He’s so small,”  Jungeun whispers. “He has your nose, Your Grace,” She adds, touching the feature in question gently.

“He’s a pretty little thing,”  Jinsoul admits.

“He’ll be so beautiful when he grows up.”  Jeonghan says from his place in  Seokmin’s lap.

“Two beautiful parents, he’ll be the pride of the kingdom.”  Seokmin interjects.

“He already is. So, so loved by everyone.”  Jungeun replies.

“You did so well with him,  Jin , you  _ are  _ doing so well,”  Jeonghan tells his queen. Jinsoul smiles,

“He’s a handful. Madam Park still doesn’t approve of me being the one to tend to him but... what can she do? I’m the queen, after all. She can disapprove all she likes, he’s my son, and I am capable of nursing him. I have  Jungeun and the best guard in the kingdom and a wonderful husband all on my side, to helpme, to be there.”

*

Eventually, the storm calms down enough for  Jinsoul to retire to her own chambers, the fire still crackling as if it had been newly kindled, as bright as the flames in  Jeonghan’s room. She asks  Jungeun if she’ll stay the night with her, it’ll help her sleep much better, knowing her maid and son are close by.  Jungeun could never refuse her queen, not that she wanted to, either. It’s a quiet night,  Jinsoul able to see  Daejung sleeping in his cot,  Jungeun’s arms around her, she feels so safe, and sleeps so soundly.

She wakes up to  Daejung crying, but not because of the storm this time. This time she knows why, and she knows she can resolve it.  Jungeun fetches him while  Jinsoul adjusts her nightgown so she can feed him. It’s incredibly intimate,  Jinsoul nursing her little boy,  Jungeun watching quietly, watching her queen, feeling her heart flutter at her beauty. It’s certainly something for the queen to not only insist that she stay in her chambers, feeling safer with her there than without, but having her there in the morning, right next to her as she nurtures her son.  Jungeun wishes it was more than this, but she knows  it’s folly to think that. To think of her queen like that. Only in her dreams can she be with her, where she can pretend it's real, where she can pretend she's content with being this close, and yet too far.


	3. Eclipse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I lied. There are going to be four chapters! And the last two are going to be both NSFW. Enjoy!

Jinsoul confides in her husband one night over tea. 

“ Jungeun , she- she's  beautiful isn’t she?” She asks him.

“She is. A pearl amongst your maids, Jinsoul. She reminds me of you when we first met, just like a butterfly, delicate, beautiful.” He replies, sipping his tea. Jinsoul smiles,

“She is. Whenever I’m near her, my heart flutters. I... is this how Sir  Seokmin makes you feel?”

“My heart feels ready to explode whenever I’m near him, but... it started just like that. The flutters, the small ember sitting in your heart, the longing to spend time together.”

“She makes me feel...” But she doesn’t need to finish,  Jeonghan knows. He understands. 

“I’ve caught her looking at you, you know.”

“You have?”  Jinsoul asks, putting down her cup of tea.

“Most definitely, her eyes... it’s the way  Seokmin looks at me.” She sighs,

“Why hasn’t she spoken to me, then?” Han just smiles, reaching to take her hand. 

“She is in the same situation as you, my dear, it is most likely she is just as afraid as you are. But I know she’s sincere  Jin , and I only want the best for you. I want my wife to be happy. To feel what I feel, the wonderful thing that it is to be in  _ love  _ with someone, and have that love reciprocated.”  Jinsoul listens to him, holds the words close to her heart, but she doesn’t want to get her hopes up. She wants it so desperately, wants  _ her  _ so desperately. Han can read it on her face, and just presses a kiss to her knuckles, before leaving for his own chambers, leaving  Jinsoul feeling like she’s not even breathing. She wants to be able to share stolen kisses, looks, and to...  _ touch  _ her like  Jeonghan touches  Seokmin . 

*

It’s a quiet night when it happens.  Jinsoul’s complaints of aches in her muscles, tight sensations in her back,  Jungeun’s constant insistence that she let her massage her shoulders finally culminating in her  _ asking the king  _ to command her to listen.  Jinsoul was just stubborn, claiming that she was fine despite obviously not being so. 

But finally,  _ finally  _ Jungeun succeeded. She retrieved special, warming and soothing oils from the physician, in order to help her queen as much as she can. She told –  _ commanded –  _ Jinsoul to get in the bath she’d drawn, soothing oils already mixed into the warm water, hair pinned out of the way to ensure she can reach her shoulders properly. 

Jinsoul had become incredibly comfortable around  Jungeun , not afraid to step into her bath with her maid around, nor step out and let the woman in question dry her off. But now, a certain nervousness was instilled in  Jinsoul , now that every time she looked at  her she couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to kiss her. But as a queen, it was in her nature to keep her composure, and  Jungeun’s thumbs feel  _ divine _ . So divine, that it makes little moans of relief pass her lips, particularly when  Jungeun releases tension in a painful knot in her back, working into it slowly, ebbing the pain piece by piece. It makes her bite her lip, to try and keep quiet. Jungeun notices the forced silence,

“It’s okay Your Grace, you don’t have to be quiet.” She tells her. “I don’t mind,” In fact, she quite enjoys the little moans.

“It just... It feels so good  Jungeun .  _ Ah _ , right there.  _ Shit _ .” She giggles, “I apologise for my language, it is unbecoming of me.”

“No need to apologise, Your Grace,”  Jungeun giggling too. “I’m just glad I’m doing an okay job.”

“You’re doing wonderfully.”  Jinsoul sighs, and  Jungeun feels her heart clench. For a moment,  Jungeun convinces herself this is a dream, and in that moment of haziness, she lapses, and before she even realises, she kisses the base of her neck, right where it meets her shoulder. 

She realises the moment she does it, that it’s in fact real, a sinking feeling of dread filling her veins. She moves away, violently fast,

“Y- Your Grace, I’m so sorry I-” But she’s interrupted,

“D- Do that again,”  Jinsoul says.  Jungeun doesn’t speak, her heart racing, making her near dizzy, she just does it, always doing as her queen tells her. Her hands shake as she lets them run down  Jinsoul’s arms, her lips pressed against her soft skin once again.  Jinsoul shudders against the kiss,  Jungeun’s lips leaving a wake of fire on her skin, bright, intense, yet not painful.

“ _ Gods _ ,” She hisses, before tilting her head, allowing  Jungeun to kiss her way to her neck. The racing of her heart makes  Jungeun feel like she’s drunk on the kisses, a part of her almost realising that she’s not thinking straight, but the rest of her doesn’t care. With the queen’s hair pinned up, she can even kiss behind her ear, whispering, 

“My queen,” The words are hesitant, and yet  Jinsoul just moans breathlessly.  Jungeun notices how soft her skin is, and how she smells perfect too, and she realises just how long she’s thought of doing this. 

“ Jinsoul .” She hears, the queen’s words breathy. “I want you to call me Jinsoul.”

“ Jinsoul ,”  Jungeun repeats in a whisper, the word feeling so right on her tongue.  Jinsoul turns, face to face with  Jungeun , before leaning up to kiss her. The queen commands her, even without realising,  Jungeun would do anything for her, and kisses her back so tenderly.  Jinsoul’s lips are warm and soft against her own, hands wet when they come to rest on her cheek, but she doesn’t mind, not when it’s the woman who makes her heart throb in her chest touching her,  _ kissing  _ her. She can taste the berries she had earlier on her lips, and it makes everything that much sweeter, she can’t stop kissing her, the taste is  _ divine _ , and her heart is thrumming so hard, her head feeling so light that she’s in an ecstasy all of her own. 

It’s  Jinsoul that eventually pulls away, smiling at her, 

“That was... lovely, wasn’t it?”

“I... I...  _ fuck _ ,” and  Jinsoul hears her beautiful, shy and retiring maid swear for the first time. It makes  Jinsoul laugh, such a bright, twinkling thing in the echoing and almost empty bathroom. “It was perfect, Jinsoul.”

“Shall we do it again then?”

“ _ Gods  _ yes,” and  Jungeun doesn’t hesitate, she kisses her queen again, so passionately,  Jinsoul still in the tub, but  Jungeun so close to her, kissing her and hoping that  Jinsoul understands how much this means to her.  Jinsoul does, it’s unspoken, but she wants to kiss her until she can’t breathe, she wants everything. They’re kissing for some time, but they eventually realise that she has to get out, the water cooling despite  Jinsoul feeling so warm. She climbs out of the bath, and for the first time,  Jungeun allows herself to look, to take in the beauty of her queen’s body, a body she knows every mark, every inch of, from helping her every morning and evening. But now, she can admire the beauty of it, and perhaps... perhaps if  Jinsoul lets her, she can touch her too. 

She brings  Jinsoul her towel, starts patting her dry but this time there’s something there, they both know something is different. She touches everything gently, touching every curve, caressing everything she lays the towel against. Eventually,  Jungeun starts applying the oil to her skin, the one  Jinsoul had started using for the marks left on her body from childbearing.  Jungeun starts slowly, gently spreading it on her skin, starting with her arms, making her way down her body, and  Jinsoul feels herself throb, somewhere she hasn’t felt like this in quite some time.  Jungeun looks up at her as she puts the oil on her ankles before stroking it up her legs, reaching her thighs and massaging them. She never takes it too far, not pushing or presuming, just doing as she always has, waiting for any express command from  Jinsoul before she dare do anything different.  Jinsoul can’t help but find her legs go a little weak once  Jungeun reaches her thighs, especially the inner parts of them. She wants  Jungeun to touch her, gods she wants it, it feels so intense already, and when her hands reach her hips, massaging the oil there, she has to close her eyes. 

She takes in a breath, before  Jungeun brushes her fingers against her stomach, slowly moving lower. She moves to stand behind  Jinsoul , breath on her neck, allowing her queen to say no if she wishes, but she wants to be sure.

“ Jinsoul ... can I...?”  Jinsoul relaxes back into her, 

“Please  Jungeun ,  _ please _ , it’s okay.” So  Jungeun lets herself touch her there, first staying to the outside, but slowly getting closer to the pooling warmth, unable to resist.  Jinsoul gasps, her hips moving forward into her touch, letting  Jungeun press her fingers where she’s throbbing, gasping her name quietly, over and over.  Jungeun kisses her neck, exploring further, letting her fingers feel the wetness between. She whispers the queen’s name,  Jinsoul just putting her hand on the back of  Jungeun’s head, encouraging her, letting her know that she’s enjoying it. She runs a finger along  Jinsoul’s entrance, her own heart still racing, 

“May I?” She asks. 

“Please,” is all she can say, her voice trembling. She slips a finger in, feeling  Jinsoul lean into her further, breathing in sharply as she does. 

“Like that, Your Grace?” 

“Yes, oh gods  _ yes _ ,” She’s still pressing careful kisses along the soft skin as she explores with her finger, feeling the warmth and wetness there, making herself feel warm too.  Jinsoul can hardly speak, despite the little amount of pleasure  Jungeun is giving her, but her attraction to  Jungeun makes everything so intense she can’t think straight, but she manages to turn her head so  Jungeun can kiss her. She feels good being able to satisfy her queen, kissing her more passionately, more confidently.  Jinsoul’s legs are spread apart a little, allowing  Jungeun to curl her finger, pushing it a deeper,  Jinsoul is moaning a little now, but then  Jungeun takes it out to look at it,  mouth watering when she sees how wet it is.

“Stars,” She whispers to herself, before bringing the finger to her lips. It makes  Jinsoul close her eyes, her cheeks burning as  Jungeun tastes her, and she hears her hum as she does.  Jinsoul eventually turns around, allowing her to kiss  Jungeun properly before pulling her onto the small sofa, placed in the bathroom during her pregnancy. She sits down, still desperately kissing  Jungeun , and still very much naked, the oil making her skin glisten.  Jungeun falls beside  her, hand making its way back between  Jinsoul’s legs, making her spread them, moaning against  Jungeun’s mouth when she feels her fingers rub her clit, before slipping two inside of her. She’s desperate for  Jungeun’s touch now, it’s all she can think about, mouth open as she kisses  Jungeun , the feeling of her fingers rendering her almost motionless. She doesn’t feel shy anymore, either, hips riding her fingers, hungry for her touch, and  Jungeun loves the feeling too, how silky, how  _ wet  _ she is, because of her.

She has permission now, it is no longer in her dreams that she  see Jinsoul like this, and she’s so  _ beautiful _ ,  Jungeun can’t help but touch her torso with her free hand,  Jinsoul quickly grabbing it. It startles her, but she places it over her chest, letting her squeeze it, not before warning,

“Gently... the milk.”  Jungeun pauses for a moment before laughing, making  Jinsoul laugh too. They laugh together, and  Jinsoul kisses her again, while  Jungeun hesitantly squeezes her queen’s chest. She’s careful, running her thumb over her nipple, so sensitive. Her other fingers are back to work between her legs, so easy now  Jinsoul is as wet as she is. They keep kissing, and  Jinsoul moans so much that it alone makes  Jungeun moan too, looking just as aroused, and it’s not long before she clings to  Jungeun’s shoulder, so sensitive and so close already. “I’m  gonna ...” She starts, her voice high and quiet, and it just makes  Jungeun press her thumb against her clit, keeping the rhythm of her fingers.

“Please  Jinsoul , I want to hear you. Let go for me,” She kisses her again, and  Jinsoul is breathy already, but with  Jungeun’s thumb still working, she’s soon pushed over the edge, throwing her head back as she comes. She kisses  Jinsoul’s neck as she comes, still brushing her thumb where she’s most sensitive, making  Jinsoul twitch, the waves of pleasure rolling off her. 

Jungeun is careful now, knowing how sensitive everything is afterwards, she slips her fingers out, and just strokes her gently.  Jinsoul can now breathe, leaning back against the sofa and letting  Jungeun touch her, it’s almost soothing.  Jinsoul can’t help but reach for her chin, turning her head so she can kiss her again. 

“Thank you,” She mumbles against her lips. 

“It was my pleasure,”  Jungeun tells her.  Jinsoul moves her hand to touch  Jungeun , but she shakes her head, “We need to get you ready, my queen.”  Jinsoul gives her a smile, 

“I shall wait until tonight to repay you, then.”

“I look forward to it.” And  Jungeun kisses her again, basking the glow of their actions, feeling so light, finally knowing that it’s real.


	4. Twilight

It is during her afternoon tea with her husband the following day that she tells him about the bath, and the... other things that happened that night. She has Daejung in her arms, and before she can even say anything, Jeonghan beats her to it, seeing right through her, 

“So... You and Jungeun...” 

“Me and Jungeun?” She asks, feigning innocence. 

“Yes, you and Jungeun.” At that very moment, Daejung makes a little noise in her arms, as if agreeing with what Jeonghan is saying. “Isn’t that right Daejung?” Han says to him, his voice light. Jinsoul smiles, 

“We have... some more plans for later.” 

“_ More _implies that something already happened, my dear wife. So you finally kissed?” 

“She kissed me first, in the bath, while she was massaging my shoulders.” 

“Oh?” 

“She kissed my shoulder, and then... my neck, my lips...” She trails off. 

“There’s something else though, I can tell. _Please_ do tell, after all, we’ve done it before. You’ve seen Seokmin and I having sex before too.” He smiles, “Little Daejung, you’re not listening, right? Maybe Jin should cover your ears...” Jinsoul giggles, 

“He can’t understand you yet, Hannie. But she... spread the oil on my skin, and I could feel so much warmth blooming in my stomach. I climbed out and she... _ explored _, and then we ended up on the sofa in the bathroom, her hand between my legs.” She pauses, “It was... Oh Jeonghan, it was wonderful. She-” She just blushes, unable to finish her train of thought. “I have to repay her, to say the least.” 

“Hm, that you do. I’ll get another maid to watch over the little prince for tonight, pretend you have a headache and you have Jungeun to tend to you, they won’t bother you then.” 

“Thank you Han. It feels good, I’m a little nervous though, I’ve never... not with a woman, I want her to feel good. As good as she made me feel.” 

“Touch her like you touch yourself. My first time... neither of us had experience and that’s what I did. He came, I came, so I think that’s a good starting point. You’ll learn what works, my dear.” 

“I can do that,” Jinsoul tells herself. “It’ll be nice.” 

“It will.” Their conversation is interspersed with Daejung making baby noises again, waving his arms around. “Yes! Your mother is going to have fun tonight! Oh yes she is.” He moves so he can kiss his nose, stood next to Jinsoul, and he smiles up at him, all gums and cheeks. It makes Jeonghan grin, but he quickly realises what the smile means. “Oh... the little prince is relieving himself.” 

“That’s delightful,” Jinsoul says through a grimace. 

“Get a clean cloth, Jeonghan,” Jinsoul says to him. 

“Going. Immediately.” And he rushes off, coming back with a new cloth and a wet one for her to wipe him with. Jeonghan playing with him to distract him while Jinsoul changes him, breathing through her mouth the entire time she does. Jeonghan plays with his little hands, kisses his cheeks, and just admires the smallness and cuteness of his little boy. “You made quite the mess didn’t you! I just hope you don’t pee while your mother changes you.” 

“Don’t jinx it Han!” Jinsoul exclaims, “Men and their little thingies...” 

“Little!?” 

“Well, Seokmin’s _is _bigger Hannie.” 

“Mine’s not little though,” He says through a pout. 

“It’s not, you’re right, I apologise. However, Daejung’s... it’s a little man’s thingie.” 

“It is, very little.” 

“It’s almost cute.” It makes Han chuckle, and soon, he’s all clean and changed, clothes back in place, the little prince sucking on his thumb. “Our son, it’s strange to think that.” Jinsoul admits. 

“He’s so precious. We might not... love each other in that way, but he was made with love, and he is very loved.” 

“So, so loved,” and it’s Jinsoul’s turn to kiss his nose. 

“I love you Jinnie, I just want you to be happy.” He tells her. 

“I love you too Han, we’re good, we work like this.” 

“We do, and I’ll make sure to leave you a bottle of wine for later.” 

“Thank you.” She smiles, and Daejung squirms in her arms, “Yes baby, I love you, your father loves you too.” She kisses his nose over and over, making little noises as she does, and he makes so many noises in return, such a vocal little thing. “Isn’t it time you go to sleep, Daejung? Or is my little baby hungry? I think I should feed him once more because... I’ll be... _absent _this evening.” 

“I think that’s a good idea,” He says to her, “I think he’d appreciate some more food.” 

“Stay with me? Until I’m done.” 

"Always, Jinnie.” 

* 

That evening Jinsoul is nervous, but she spots the bottle of wine Jeonghan promised, uncorks it and takes a sip. She hums, her favourite. She has a moment to herself before Jungeun appears, and she looks radiant. Now in her sleeping gown, and she looks so beautiful with her hair down, barefoot in the candle light, she looks ethereal, otherworldly. 

“Jinsoul.” She says, her voice soft. 

“Jungeun... You look beautiful.” 

“I... Thank you. Coming from you it’s... well, it’s really nice to hear. I wanted to make myself look... A little better.” 

“You always look beautiful.” Jinsoul admits. “So, so beautiful.” Jinsoul walks closer to where Jungeun is standing, before putting a hand on her cheek, “Perfect, Jungeun.” She blushes and looks away, 

“You’re too kind.” 

“I’m telling the truth.” She changes the subject, “Jeonghan gifted us some wine to share, if you’d like.” 

“Is it the spiced one?” She asks, and Jinsoul nods. “My favourite.” It makes Jinsoul smile, they both enjoy the same things, the same wines, and while it’s something small, it makes her feel closer to Jungeun. She passes Jungeun the bottle, telling her, 

“It’s all yours,” Before unpinning her braid, letting it fall over her shoulder, putting her hands on Jungeun’s hips as she takes a sip. Jinsoul wants to be confident, commanding, like the queen she is, but she’s shy, and she feels that she _ can _be shy around Jungeun. So, her hands are hesitant on Jungeun’s hip, but Jungeun smiles, swallowing the wine with a hum, 

“It’s delicious.” 

“Yeah?” She nods, handing the bottle back to her queen. Jinsoul puts the bottle down, however, and decides to kiss her maid instead, tasting the wine on her instead. Her tongue pressing against her lips, asking for permission, which Jungeun gives her, gives her everything, melting into her arms and letting her kiss her. Jinsoul wraps her arms around her, feeling ever dip of her body through her nightgown; soft curves, ones that she wants to explore. Her hands stroke Jungeun’s sides, and she wants to see her so badly, to see her the way Jungeun gets to see her. “Can I?” Jinsoul asks gently holding her nightgown. 

“Please,” Jungeun says desperately, and so Jinsoul unties the front of her gown, revealing soft pale skin, before grabbing the hem of it, pulling it over her head. It’s Jungeun’s turn to feel shy, covering herself a little at the new exposure. 

“None of that,” Jinsoul says, her voice trembling, it’s all so much and yet not enough, Jungeun is so beautiful. She reaches to the hem of her own gown, pulling it over her own head so that they’re both standing naked in front of each other, both bared to each other. “There, we’re the same now.” She tells her, reaching for Jungeun’s hands, which are held over her chest. Jungeun lets her pull her hands away, and Jinsoul slowly leads her to the bed, picking up the bottle, letting Jungeun lay on the bed before straddling her. She takes a long sip herself, before passing the bottle back over to Jungeun, who does the same, taking a long draw from the bottle. It warms them both up, makes them feel looser, and now they’re pressed against each other, Jinsoul able to feel the heat between Jungeun’s legs against her own. Jinsoul looks at her from where she’s straddling her, skin so pale and visibly soft, 

“You’re so beautiful,” She says, fingers on her collarbones, “So, so beautiful.” 

“Jinsoul I...” She wants to thank her, but Jinsoul kisses her collarbones, and combined with the wine, a familiar fogginess enveloping her brain, she’s speechless. The hand on Jungeun’s stomach moves down a little now, making Jungeun suck in a breath, she’s throbbing, and Jinsoul is so close. 

“May I?” She asks, as if Jungeun isn’t prepared to give her everything, but she nods anyway, closing her eyes and just waiting, and she does, touches her where she’s wet, and so warm. Jungeun breathes loudly, holding onto Jinsoul’s hip, and Jinsoul smiles, “You’re so wet. Is this because of me?” 

“Yes, gods yes it’s you Jinsoul,” She says breathily. Jinsoul hums, feeling how wet she is, how hot too. 

“Because of me, gods... this must be a dream.” 

“It’s real, Jinsoul, all because of you.” Jinsoul remembers her husband’s words, thinks about how she likes to touch herself, and does it to Jungeun, rubbing her clit with two fingers ever so slowly at first, and Jungeun moans so loudly. It’s a relief the stone walls hold in the sound, thick curtains catching their moans, an unwitting protector of their secrets. Jinsoul kisses her neck too, letting her fingers work as they lay naked, pressed against each other, and Jungeun’s hand moves to squeeze one of Jinsoul’s ass cheeks. It makes Jinsoul gasp, then smile, her hand warm against her skin, soft too. 

“Can you come like this, Jungeun?” Jinsoul asks against her lips, flicking her clit. 

“I think I can.” She admits, still hoping for more after this. Jinsoul keeps rubbing, Jungeun’s hips moving into her touch, still moaning so sweetly, and she finds herself closer than she would have liked. Jinsoul seems to be aware of this, and so speeds up her touches, making Jungeun squeeze her ass harder. 

She comes without warning, quiet too, mouth open, sucking in a breath before releasing it, shuddering endlessly when Jinsoul doesn’t quite stop. Legs twitching, gripping Jinsoul tighter as a reaction. She keeps twitching, Jinsoul slowing down eventually, until she’s just stroking Jungeun’s throbbing pussy, now dripping wet. 

“Good?” Jinsoul asks, and Jungeun just touches herself, feeling how wet she is. 

“Y- Yes.” Jinsoul kisses her softly, hand next to Jungeun’s, which she takes as she kisses her, both hands slightly wet but neither of them care. It’s more than okay, they’re sharing their passion, their need, their want. Jinsoul moves away, lying down on the bed and taking Jungeun with her, shuffling until Jungeun is on top of her, between her legs and kissing her passionately. They kiss sweetly but loudly, hungry for each other. Jungeun starts to kiss her way down to Jinsoul’s jaw, tugging on an earring as she explores further. It makes Jinsoul hum, remembering how Jungeun helped pick out those very earrings that same morning, and thoughtlessly letting her fingers run along her body. Jungeun leaves a trail of warm, wet kisses on Jinsoul’s skin, moving lower and lower until she says, “Let me put my mouth on you, Jinsoul. I’ve... I’ve been thinking about it for so long.” 

“You want to?” Jinsoul asks, it makes her throb to even think about it. 

“Of course I want to, gods, have you_ seen _yourself?” She just blushes, 

“You can... put your mouth there, I don’t... I don’t mind.” 

“Thank you, I’m going to... I’m going to _try _and make you feel good, I bet you taste so sweet too.” Jungeun says, her voice deep, making Jinsoul fall further, further still. She smiles, watching Jungeun make her way down her body, leaving kisses wherever she goes. Her nipples, the middle of her chest, the stretchmarks on her belly, her hipbones, until she reaches the place where warmth is radiating from, parting Jinsoul’s legs with one hand. Jungeun shows her a sweet smile before kissing just above her slit, before licking up its length, all the while Jinsoul watches her, watches Jungeun taste her, tangles her fingers in her long hair, always watching. “I was right, you do taste sweet,” Jungeun remarks. 

“Do I now?” 

“Mhm.” She presses a kiss to the warmth. It almost feels ticklish, and it makes her smile, hand still in Jungeun’s hair. 

“Feels nice.” She knows Jungeun’s barely started, and it makes her blood thrum in her veins, the anticipation of what comes next. Jungeun starts stroking her thighs as she begins to work her tongue, slowly and steadily, making sure to press her tongue against her clit from time to time. Jinsoul moves her hips into Jungeun’s movements, slowly, her eyes closed as she lets the sensation wash over her. She feels so turned on, so attracted to Jungeun that she doesn’t know what to do, and then Jungeun picks up the pace, eating her out like she means it, tongue lapping and flicking and sucking, massaging her thighs at the same time, teasing moans from her queen. “Jungeun, that feels... so good. _Fuck_,” She hisses, trying to keep her grip light on her hair, but struggling as the sensations get more intense. 

“I’m glad, Your Grace,” Jungeun replies, the vibrations make Jinsoul moan, her free hand now clutching the sheets. The noises Jungeun makes as she sucks are divine, and they make Jinsoul throb more than she already is. 

It’s so beautiful when she comes. Hips arching, a beautiful noise leaving her lips, it sounds so harmonious to Jungeun, something she could listen to for eternity. She pulls away, looking at the glistening mess left behind, a satisfied smirk sitting on her lips, her head giddy with wine and ecstasy, and she has to fight back the urge to put her mouth back on her. 

“Jungeun, I want to...” She’s a little breathless, but Jungeun understands what she means, what she wants to do. 

“I’m all yours, Your Grace.” Jinsoul sits up, so she can push Jungeun back down onto the bed, and untie the leather thong keeping her hair in place. It spills around her, blonde curls falling effortlessly, she looks heaven sent, so Jinsoul kisses her way down her body, just like Jungeun had done to her, making sure to kiss her chest, beautifully soft and smooth. Jinsoul takes in how beautiful she is, and even lets herself mouth at a nipple. “No need to worry about milk here,” Jungeun says with a giggle, one that Jinsoul reciprocates. 

“No, not with you,” She says, pressing her tongue flat against the nipple before sucking slightly, swirling her tongue, making Jungeun let out a little ‘oh’ in response. Jeonghan had done this to her on their wedding night, _it’s all the same, man or woman_, he’d said. She remembers how good it felt, and so she does it to Jungeun, and it’s wonderful to see her face change, watch the pleasure take over because of how _sensitive _it is. How it sends waves of sensation to where so much heat is already pooling. She already came once, but Jinsoul is determined to makes sure she feels that again, this time with her mouth and her fingers, just like Jungeun had done to her that morning, she wants to give her everything. Simply thinking about it is making Jinsoul wet, and so needy to touch her, the attraction burning a fire in her chest. She wants to carry on through the night, until the dawn rises, until secret and hidden songs are written about them, about the lovers who were never meant to be, that part at the dawn but will be together again. An aubade that will be written, that will never be seen by anyone but them. 

She’s desperate, and so doesn’t hesitate in kissing her way down Jungeun’s body, leaving sloppy kisses across her stomach. Jungeun just smiles, still not quite believing that it’s all real, she tries to take in every sensation, to believe that it’s real and true. Her queen really is kissing her and dipping between her legs to kiss her some more. 

“You’ll have to guide me Jungeun. I’ve never done this,” She admits. 

“Neither had I, Your Grace, only you. But... I can tell you what feels good.” Jinsoul just thinks, no experience, yet she made Jinsoul feel pleasure like she never has with her mouth like that. 

“Gods you’re something else, Jungeun,” Jinsoul says in disbelief, and Jungeun smiles, reaching to touch her cheek. She feels so affectionate towards her queen, more than just as her subject, looking at her like this, she feels something blooming in her chest. 

“I like you more than I should, Jinsoul.” 

“I feel the same, Jungeun. This is... the beginning of something, I hope,” She says with a kiss to her thigh. She keeps kissing her way to where Jungeun most desires her, and once there she presses a single kiss to her clit, eliciting a giggle from Jungeun. 

“That’s nice,” She tells her. 

“You’re very pretty Jungeun. I’m surprised you don’t have my husband’s entire court after you.” 

“Even if they were, I wouldn’t want any of them.” She pauses. “I have eyes only for you.” Another pause. “I... this is real, isn’t it?” 

“It is, Jungeun. It’s more than real.” And Jinsoul presses another kiss there, before a flick with her tongue. The sensation is _definitely _real, the warmth of her tongue touching her where she’s most sensitive, it’s not possible for her to have dreamt that. She eats her out hesitantly, but watches Jungeun’s face for even the subtlest of changes, anything that might give her an indication or hint. She likes being able to see the immediate response to all her touches and moves, the way Jungeun will gasp or her jaw will move, so she takes the opportunity to slip a finger inside of her, and gods, she’s so warm. 

With Jeonghan, she had felt good, she had felt cared for; but this was different, so many emotions coursing through her, namely that of pure desire. As silly as it sounds to her, it’s nice to feel the _attraction, _to feel that want, to pleasure without being pleasured, and to see Jungeun like this... it’s indescribable. 

One finger turns to two, and Jinsoul thinks about how Jungeun used her fingers that morning, tries to remember what she did. She also remembers the time Sir Seokmin had done it, back when they were trying to conceive. They always made sure that she felt the same pleasure as them, always, and it became _fun _to try having a baby with two of her closest friends there with her. She remembers how Seokmin would curl them and use his thumb at the same time, but instead of her thumb now, she uses her mouth. She remembers the feeling, so she does the same, sucking slightly on her clit while moving her fingers in and out slowly, and hearing the little curse that leaves Jungeun’s lips tells her she’s doing something right. She sounds so beautiful, looks beautiful too, it feels such a blessing to be doing this with her, hair fanning around her, she looks like a goddess. 

Jinsouls duties as a queen include leading rituals and prayers, and the carved stone idols in the temple, imitating the gods and goddesses, don’t compare in the slightest to Jungeun. Gods be damned, Jungeun was human perfection, and she intended to only worship her. And when she falls apart... Jinsoul is almost afraid to touch her, she looks ethereal. But she does touch her, kissing her thighs, tasting her over and over, making her legs twitch as she does, Jungeun moaning her name,_ Jinsoul’s __name_, over and over. 

When she stills, Jinsoul tastes her again, before kissing the very top of her slit. “Was that... good?” Her question, the shyness just makes Jungeun laugh. 

“You were wonderful Jin,” She says softly, “Gods, I could fall asleep about now,” She admits. 

“You can stay here for the night. Tell the servants when they come that you were keeping me company.” She smirks, “It’s not a lie after all.” 

“I can stay?” 

“I wouldn’t dream of letting you leave,” Jinsoul murmurs, climbing back up the bed, so close to each other. 

“You’re beautiful.” Jungeun breathes. 

“Just like you.” Her words make Jungeun smile, and it’s the most perfect thing Jinsoul has ever seen, and she just has to kiss her again, this time putting her hand on her waist as she does. The room is so quiet, just the slight crackling of the fire keeping them company. Jinsoul eventually pulls the covers up over them, continuing to kiss and touch even as they get sleepier. “I’m so glad,” Another kiss, “That you’re the one that wakes me up. It means we can lie together like this, sleep naked like this.” 

“That sounds like a dream, everything I’ve imagined for... for so long.” 

“Good to know that I wasn’t the only one.” 

Jungeun lets herself rest her head against Jinsoul’s neck, feeling overwhelmed at the realisation of how _happy _she feels. They hold each other until they fall asleep, and even then, in their sleep they remain touching, sleeping peacefully side by side. 

* 

They feel so safe, and they get to wake up next to each other, neither of them having seen a more beautiful sight. Jungeun wakes after Jinsoul, and Jinsoul just gets to watch her for a while, observe her quiet beauty, until she eventually blinks awake, Jinsoul’s smile stretching across her lips, “Good morning.” 

“Morning,” She replies, rubbing one of her eyes and stretching her legs as she does. 

“How are you feeling?” Jinsoul asks her. 

“Good. Better than I’ve felt in a very long while. Thank you for last night.” 

“I should be thanking you too, gods... I’ve never felt like that.” And then they’re kissing again, drawn so inexplicably to each other. 

They quickly dress into their nightgowns though, because in no time servants are knocking at the door, a sleeping Daejung in one of their arms. 

“My queen, are you feeling beter? We had a wet nurse take care of him in the night, but I think he wants you now.” 

“I can take him, it’s alright,” and she does through the door. 

“Is there anything you need Your Grace?” The servant asks. 

“No, if I do, Jungeun will send for you,” She tells them. “But thank you.” 

“We’ll be starting everything, m’lady.” The youngest of them says, bowing, “Rose or lavender for your bath?” 

“Lavender, please. Nice and soothing start for the day.” 

“Good choice, Your Grace.” 

Jungeun is sat on the bed, servants assuming she spent the night tending to the queen’s headache, they just scurry into the bathroom as Jinsoul sits back down next to her, Daejung now in her arms. 

“Time to wake up little one, Mother’s here.” She touches his cheek, helping him wake up, and he puts his hands over his face. “Sleepy boy,” She says with a smile. He makes a very tiny noise of discomfort, not enjoying being woken up, but Jinsoul is quick to shush him. “Hush, my rose. It’s okay, I’m here. The sun is shining, it’s time to start the day.” She tells him. “Time for breakfast too hm?” Jungeun helps with her robe, Jinsoul preoccupied with cradling Daejung. It’s like he knows what’s coming because he quiets down, blinking sleepily at his mother. “Yes! You’re a growing boy, you need your food don’t you?” She thanks Jungeun before positioning him to eat. She stays close to Jinsoul, touching the small of her back gently, and Jinsoul continues to guide him to her chest. He’s quick to latch, and is still looking at his mother, and blinking at her. She smiles, “Clever boy,” as she feels him begin to nurse. Already, he looks so much like his father, same eyes, same nose, he’s gorgeous, nursing with strength as she just smiles at him, touching his little hand. 

In truth, she loves being able to nurse him, knowing that she’s making him stronger, helping him grow. With Jungeun by her side, touching her back as she watches the little prince she cares so much for too, a peaceful moment in the morning. 

“What does it feel like?” Jungeun asks. 

“It’s... strange, his mouth is very, hm, strong.” She giggles, just watching him. “At first he was a little hesitant, when he was born, didn’t know what to do with his mouth. Now... now he’s strong, very strong. It feels good afterwards, though. I feel lighter.” 

“He looks so sweet when he nurses,” Jungeun says, “And the noises... gods he’s cute.” 

“My little baby. He’s brought me joy I never thought I would feel.” 

“You carried him, looked after him for all that time inside your stomach. You’re amazing, Jin,” Jungeun murmurs, making her smile. 

“I just... I love him so much.” 

“I know, I can see it in the way you look at him.” 

_ Can you see the way I look at you too, then? _Jinsoul thinks. She wants to say it to her, to will herself to say it, but she can’t, not just yet. So she stays quiet, but she can’t help but leant against Jungeun. Jungeun kisses her shoulder gently, and just carries on watching the little prince. He finishes eventually, pulling his mouth away, spilling a little milk as he does, and Jungeun is up in seconds, fetching a clean cloth to wipe his mouth with and so that Jinsoul has something to put over her shoulder when she burps him. It’s instinctive to her now, to help the queen and her son. So Jinsoul wipes his mouth, cradling him close to her before putting the cloth over her shoulder, 

“Let’s get you burped.” He doesn’t object to being moved, doesn’t even squirm, just lets her move him to her shoulder where she starts patting his back gently, rocking him up and down. He squirms just a little, clearly in discomfort over the wind in his tummy, and eventually, they hear the tiniest burp. “My clever boy,” Jinsoul says to him, Jungeun gently wiping his mouth again with the cloth. 

“You’re nice and full now, aren’t you? We can play a little can’t we?” He makes a tiny noise, showing his gummy smile to his mother. She kisses his little head, putting him on the bed and sitting by his side.   
“Hi baby, you’re all awake now aren’t you?” He grabs onto the sleeve of her nightgown, shaking the material, “Nice and soft isn't it?” She pauses.   
“Jungeun, come closer.” Jungeun does, a bit shyly, but when she’s close enough, he grabs her sleeve too. “See? Daejung wants you here too,” She says. “He thinks you’re the best.” 

“Do you, little prince?” He waves his arm as if answering, drooling a little as he does. 

“He thinks so, just like his mother.” He looks so satisfied, showing them his gums, kicking his legs a little too. “You’re so clever and strong! You can nearly sit up by yourself too can’t you?” He waves his legs even more, at the same time as his arms, and Jinsoul can’t stop smiling. “Ah, dad will be so proud when he sees you move like that!” He looks so happy, shaking their sleeves and wiggling so much that he falls onto his side, still looking just as happy. 

All gums and smiles, Jinsoul is definitely going to tell Jeonghan to come and have tea with her. She starts to blow raspberries on his cheeks, gentle, not too loud, just enough to make him squeal. “Mama’s little boy aren’t you? So special.” Jungeun can’t help but smile, Jinsoul loves her boy so much, and she loves him too. 

Now, they have a secret of their own. Truth known to each other, and only to each other. 


End file.
